I want to start living my life!
I want to try new things--maybe go somewhere to start all over again so that I could truly appreciate what my life means. But this is never going to be easy. Every decision or choice I make, another life changes with it... somebody's going to be affected one way or another. If I decided to leave the country, it will affect my family. It may seem to them that I am throwing everything away. I know that they would be worried sick about me if they let me have my way.
Another thing is that it might be a mistake to go so far. But there's no sure way to know. And there's the financial part of this "going away" plan. I don't think I'm ready yet as far as money is concerned. I couldn't even pay the bond which makes it more difficult to leave the company I work for. The complications are stacking up so quickly.
But I couldn't shake this feeling off. That somewhere, I know almost for certain that, out there, life will make more sense to me. The thought of being out there, doing something that makes sense, immersing myself into the new ways (new at least to me), becomes more and more appealing as I think of it.
I will set myself free. I'm too wild for this place. I want to share myself with the world and I will never hold anything back again.
oh well the grass is always greener on the other side, so might as well go there to prove it, right?
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